Mamma's Drug

Just got done watching a movie called P-star Rising. http://www.pstarrising.com/index.php
This was a PBS documentary following a lil girl and her family as they pursued a music dream. P-Star raised by her dad, is an amazingly talented lil girl who wonders where her strung out mother is. P-Star has a sister with a learning disability who often gets left behind and so desperately needs a mother.

My heart broke for the girls in this movie and fueled my passion to keep doing music and using it as a means to minister and inspire others with broken life stories and stolen dreams.

After watching this movie I was moved to write these words about MY life journey.

Mamma's Drug

I thought you were normal

till I became a teen 

and secretly read the pages of your diary

I had 3 brothers and sisters

that came before me

but their faces I would never see

It made me question

how did I survive 

Later I found out that I almost died

but you were brave enough 

to tell your mamma no

and gave  birth to me at 16 years old

You ran away from home 

only finished 8th grade

home was a place where you didn't feel safe

Childhood abuse screwed you mentally

making you a mom 

who couldn't see

a new day had begun

but the demons of your past

seemed to always come

You locked your self up 

when your bipolar hit

Daddy and you 

began to split

A past of pain, regrets, and no love 

tore up your soul

and made you turn to drugs

I never knew you were an addict before 

and this was how you coped 

before I was born

5 kids later

we all wait for the day

when we'll have our mother 

and her demons are slayed

Cause we're all waitin for a little love 

but all we keep gettin is our mamma's drug

* My mamma's still fighting her addiction to this day and I am SO proud of her for fighting...and I'm praying one day she will be free.

 Love you mom.