Monday, April 4, 2011

Mamma's Drug

Just got done watching a movie called P-star Rising. http://www.pstarrising.com/index.php
This was a PBS documentary following a lil girl and her family as they pursued a music dream. P-Star raised by her dad, is an amazingly talented lil girl who wonders where her strung out mother is. P-Star has a sister with a learning disability who often gets left behind and so desperately needs a mother.

My heart broke for the girls in this movie and fueled my passion to keep doing music and using it as a means to minister and inspire others with broken life stories and stolen dreams.

After watching this movie I was moved to write these words about MY life journey.

Mamma's Drug

I thought you were normal
till I became a teen 
and secretly read the pages of your diary

I had 3 brothers and sisters
that came before me
but their faces I would never see

It made me question
how did I survive 
Later I found out that I almost died
but you were brave enough 
to tell your mamma no
and gave  birth to me at 16 years old

You ran away from home 
only finished 8th grade
home was a place where you didn't feel safe

Childhood abuse screwed you mentally
making you a mom 
who couldn't see
a new day had begun
but the demons of your past
seemed to always come

You locked your self up 
when your bipolar hit
Daddy and you 
began to split

A past of pain, regrets, and no love 
tore up your soul
and made you turn to drugs
I never knew you were an addict before 
and this was how you coped 
before I was born

5 kids later
we all wait for the day
when we'll have our mother 
and her demons are slayed

Cause we're all waitin for a little love 
but all we keep gettin is our mamma's drug

* My mamma's still fighting her addiction to this day and I am SO proud of her for fighting...and I'm praying one day she will be free.

 Love you mom.





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